Oh dear,
have had a funny couple of weeks and an extremely odd panic attack.
But
starting on a good note; had a fab day out for my birthday with my daughter taking
a trip down to Rochester for the day, including my first Dickens Festival. Was nowhere near as busy as I expected and,
to be honest, a bit disappointing on the Dickens front, although did see a fair
few fab steampunk costumes. We started
off with breakfast in the café before catching the train to Rochester. Then a
wander round the shops, stalls and flea market before having coffee and cake in
Bruno’s which, I’m happy to report does, at least one, gluten free option.
Got spoilt
rotten in Hometown and home to fish pie (my favourite) cooked by my partner.
Staying
with the birthday treats; had another breakfast bought for me by a friend on
Tuesday and a good catch up as we hadn’t seen each other for a fair while.
This past
weekend was the pub reunion which was awesome.
Loads of people, we packed out the pub, good company (some of whom I
hadn’t seen for 30 years) and brilliant music.
This week,
I’ve been really tired as the dog wasn’t well over the weekend and kept me up
most of Sunday night and I don’t think I’ve really caught up. Probably because of this, I had a huge panic
attack, which was totally stupid and pointless and bizarre, about the up and
coming trip to Glastonbury Festival.
Woke up at 4am with thoughts of not being able to pitch the tent due to
space, having to put it up in the dark, losing my granddaughter because we were
struggling with the tent and all such ridiculous things that, at the time, seemed
monumental but after much thought were just mental without the monu!
I think I’m
being far too hard on myself and am probably trying to be responsible for
everything, including people’s enjoyment, which is ridiculous! I’m sure half of it is due to having had
sixteen years of being totally responsible for someone’s ability to cope and
having to have planned, with military precision, every trip we’ve ever done
(taking into account all eventualities and worst case scenarios as my son was a
‘runner’ when small). It’s a hard habit
to break, but I must break it.
I think if
I was going by myself I wouldn’t be feeling anywhere near as stressed which
seems odd when I think about it as I would have thought it would make it worse
being by myself. But, having done a lot more by myself recently and enjoying it
because I’ve not had to feel responsible for anyone but me, the relief of not
having to worry about anyone has been rather liberating. So when I am with someone I revert back to
the worrying and the feeling that I need to be in control so that, should
anything go wrong, I’ll be able to deal with it straight away rather than just
accepting that something has gone wrong and going with the flow.
Anyway, I’m
ok at the moment and, to be honest, I’m looking forward to it although I have
no idea what my plans are re seeing any bands.
Before then, however, I’ve got my son’s birthday today, a day trip out
planned next week and a weekend full of my granddaughter’s birthday party next
Saturday and our family Nerf War’s day next Sunday. This weekend C is off with his dad tomorrow
to a model railway show and we are off to Fuse Festival in Rochester on Sunday;
busy, busy, busy. Which is probably a
good thing, ha ha; maybe it’ll stop me from having ‘over the top’ stresses.
Cya
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Dapper Gent |
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Butterfly Ladies (also seen at ComicCon) |
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