To be honest, I'm finding it difficult to post as I don't think most things are interesting enough and I don't want to get into the habit of 'Monday I did this', 'Tuesday I did this' or 'I've eaten this today', you get the picture.
If something has annoyed me or cheered me up no end, that's different, but how often in life does that happen? I mean really happen? I'm not talking about finding positive in every day, that's normally pretty easy. My son getting up and saying 'hi' is positive, my dog looking up expectantly for his morning biscuits is positive, drinking my cup of tea by myself in the quiet is positive. All those little things that you are supposed to look at, if you have depression like me, are easy peasy and trying not to dwell on negative things like stupid comments from your partner or news items that you think are truely unbelievable in this so called modern world is also easy.
What I'm talking about is those 'blow your mind' moments of pure, ecstatic, happiness or 'gobsmacking' moments of sheer surprise or, even, 'what the fuck?' moments of totally and utter disbelief or anger. Those moments are rare and sporadic; they have to be otherwise they wouldn't 'blow your mind', be 'gobsmacking' or make you want to say 'what the fuck?'. Imagine living a life that was full of those moments. For starters that probably would wear a bit thin after a while and wouldn't be quite so awe expiring and if they didn't become a bit 'dull', you'd be exhausted emotionally from dealing with them.
So blogs, columns, diaries or whatever you choose to write or read become a bit mundane after a while. Trying to constantly think of something interesting to say is tiring, it's hard, it's damn near impossible on a consistant basis and is probably why novellists tend to bring out only one good book every two or three years and hats off to proffesional columnists and bloggers, that's what I say.
If this is the case, then why am I writing today? Well, an old teacher of mine said that to write, you must write! Sounds stupid and pretty obvious, but it's true. I had no idea on what I was going to write today, but I've decided that every Monday (we'll see how long it lasts) I will write a blog, so I opened up my page, clicked new post and sat here. Didn't know what to say, so, as in when I couldn't think of what to do for some homework that was given to me on a writing course I wrote a poem about why I couldn't think of what to do for the homework, I've written about why I can't always write on a regular basis. What has that meant? Well, I've written; a reasonable amount to be honest. It might not be awe inspiring, it might not be well written, but at least it isn't 'Monday, I did this' or 'I ate this over the weekend'.
Cya
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Not exactly the best photo in the world, but 'first blossoms on the plum tree' taken this morning |
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