REGULAR WRITING IS HARD

Hiya folks; see I told you I'm crap at updating :-)

To be honest, I'm finding it difficult to post as I don't think most things are interesting enough and I don't want to get into the habit of 'Monday I did this', 'Tuesday I did this' or 'I've eaten this today', you get the picture.

If something has annoyed me or cheered me up no end, that's different, but how often in life does that happen?  I mean really happen?  I'm not talking about finding positive in every day, that's normally pretty easy.  My son getting up and saying 'hi' is positive, my dog looking up expectantly for his morning biscuits is positive, drinking my cup of tea by myself in the quiet is positive.  All those little things that you are supposed to look at, if you have depression like me, are easy peasy and trying not to dwell on negative things like stupid comments from your partner or news items that you think are truely unbelievable in this so called modern world is also easy.

What I'm talking about is those 'blow your mind' moments of pure, ecstatic, happiness or 'gobsmacking' moments of sheer surprise or, even, 'what the fuck?' moments of totally and utter disbelief or anger.  Those moments are rare and sporadic; they have to be otherwise they wouldn't 'blow your mind', be 'gobsmacking' or make you want to say 'what the fuck?'.  Imagine living a life that was full of those moments.  For starters that probably would wear a bit thin after a while and wouldn't be quite so awe expiring and if they didn't become a bit 'dull', you'd be exhausted emotionally from dealing with them.

So blogs, columns, diaries or whatever you choose to write or read become a bit mundane after a while.  Trying to constantly think of something interesting to say is tiring, it's hard, it's damn near impossible on a consistant basis and is probably why novellists tend to bring out only one good book every two or three years and hats off to proffesional columnists and bloggers, that's what I say.

If this is the case, then why am I writing today?  Well, an old teacher of mine said that to write, you must write!  Sounds stupid and pretty obvious, but it's true.  I had no idea on what I was going to write today, but I've decided that every Monday (we'll see how long it lasts) I will write a blog, so I opened up my page, clicked new post and sat here.  Didn't know what to say, so, as in when I couldn't think of what to do for some homework that was given to me on a writing course I wrote a poem about why I couldn't think of what to do for the homework, I've written about why I can't always write on a regular basis.  What has that meant?  Well, I've written; a reasonable amount to be honest.  It might not be awe inspiring, it might not be well written, but at least it isn't 'Monday, I did this' or 'I ate this over the weekend'.

Cya

Not exactly the best photo in the world, but 'first blossoms on the plum tree' taken this morning

OMG! How long has it been since writing on here!! And I was doing so well too. Oh well, life does often get in the way doesn't it?

How am I? Ok, I think!

Had more problems with neighbour's dog recently so called in the local Council AGAIN!!! Got a new warden so had to explain everything all over again. However, he did arrive with a mate so two for the price of one. Isn't that a BOGOF deal? Well, I wish my neighbours would bog off!!! Anyway, they went round and 'had a word' and miracles of miracles the guy has removed the rubbish from up against the fence, so theoretically dogs/kids can no longer climb up and over my 6.5ft fence! Partner is, so he says, going to go round over weekend and offer to help remove the rubbish completely! I have visions of the kids pulling it all back so that they can climb up again, but trying to think positive. We've offered before, but nothing came of it. Hopefully this time he'll be a bit more insistent and Callum can start to enjoy the garden again!

What else? Well, bedroom ceiling had to be pulled down before it fell down!!! So house is basically covered in dust and now every room apart from Callum's is in a half state! Either there are bits missing in ceilings or it's chunks out of walls. Will be nice when finally finished, but I'm beginning to feel like that is never going to happen! Phil, my partner, has said that he will take a week off in September and get our bedroom finished completely!! Would be nice! Will be able to finally unpack my books and dragons after nearly two years of living here and have a nice room to chill out and sleep in! Only another 5 rooms to do after that! Eeek!

As to my state of mind. I'm going from manically depressed about house/dog/garden to 'wild thing' about the same! I'm trying to read about 6 books all at once, which probably isn't a good idea!?! And I suddenly remembered that I started knitting Callum a jumper months ago! As I'm such a slow knitter I better get on with it otherwise it'll be finished and he will have grown out of it!

Have decided also that I need a laptop! Callum has been in computer mode again, so getting on here is pretty rare and when I do it's normally a bit late, so I check my mail and FB and leave it (another reason blog isn't being done). Trying to write is quite hard when you're shattered and the computer chair is knackered, so I end up with back ache after any length of time. I really really want to write and not just my blogs. I've got about 3 stories on the go at the moment and really want to finish one of them and have a go at publishing it. But by the time it gets to about 10pm and I'm finally able to sit down at computer, I really don't feel like doing it. So laptop required! That way, when C is playing on computer I can sit in a comfy chair and tap away quite happily.

I can even do it in early evening while the rest of them are watching telly. Why don't I go on computer then I hear you ask? Well I have a strange obsession about not letting anyone read what I write until it's finished. Even these blogs (which are completely public) I don't like letting anyone read until done. So the fact that my computer is in the corner of a room that everyone has to walk through to get to the kitchen and screen is in full view makes me paranoid! Silly I know, but I hate the thought that they can look over my shoulder and read what I'm typing. So laptop is going to have to be the answer!! (I'm typing now because my son is upstairs playing with his best mate, so won't see them for ages, and my partner is at work!)

On the rest of the life front I'm still currently obsessed with you know who - haha! Hopefully now the series has finished I can wean myself off and find someone else - I'm such a fickle thing you know! However, I am (or rather we are) going to Earl's Court to see Top Gear Live in November (early xmas treat), so probably be a while. Plus I'm still tired, grumpy, getting older, home educating, knitting, reading, cooking, gardening, meeting new and wonderful people, seeing current and fab friends and generally enjoying myself. So it isn't all bad!

Cya