HALLOWEEN IS COMING!!!

Ok, I've got to get this out of my system:

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!

There, I've said it! Yay!!

I don't quite know what it is about Halloween, but I've always loved it. Might have something to do with the fact that I've always been fascinated with the macarbe and I used to love ghost stories when I was a kid. And, as some of you may remember from a previous post, I do believe in ghosts and have one of my own (well several actually, but I've already written about that).

I come from a very religious family, so maybe it originates as a bit of a rebellion towards that as well, but I'm not entirely sure on that one.

I am also interested in herbal medicine and pagan beliefs, although I wouldn't actual class myself as one as I'm not disciplined enough. I've been called a witch quite a lot in my life too, but I don't think that's because they think I can do magic - haha.

I do know that Halloween or All Hallows Eve is the beginning of the Celtic New Year in the Old Religion. You could also say that there is a link to Harvest Festival as it's a time when crops were brought in, animals were also brought back from the fields and perishable foods were eaten before the long winter months ahead. It's also said to be a time to remember the past year and to remember those that have passed on, hence the storytelling.

I know that nowadays it's very commercialised (as are most festivals to be honest) and very Americanised too and most people seem to think that it's an American festival, but it isn't, it's been around for centuries.

I love it because it gives me a chance to indulge myself in silliness and be a bit creative. This year I'm doing pumpkins and skeletons as my theme. The aim is to have a church/funeral parlour front room (I'm going to dress up as a Victorian Funeral Director and Callum is going to be the Grim Reaper) which leads into the 'graveyard' which will be the dining room. I'm currently doing the decorations for the living room which will include a 'stained glass' window (tissue paper and card), a tapestry 'alter cloth' and lots of pumpkin candle holders, which I had to make as the candle holders I already had were ghosts! Nothing that a few old jam jars and some glass paint won't fix! Plus of course the pumpkins themselves (see above). Obviously they need to be carved, but that's a last minute job. Grew those ourselves by the way.

The dining room will be covered in black bin liners and I'm making a grey card mausoleum to cover my large unit. The table will be, hopefully, a grave with the chairs being tombstones and, of course, all the food will have a ghastly twist.

I've probably set myself a too huge a task, but this is the first year in this house that I can truely go over the top. The first year here, we'd only just moved in, so had nothing. I hated it! Only had sweets to give out and it was awful. You see I don't do sweets for trick or treaters; I do cupcakes! Usually something pretty gross looking like witches fingers (apple wedges sticking out with flaked almonds painted red for fingernails) or dead fly cakes (green cakes with green icing and sultana and flaked almond flies on top). However, this year I managed to get a gruesome cupcake book in the sale and am trying some of those out instead. Usually end up making about 48+ cakes and they normally all go! The second year here, last year, I was still hobbling around after breaking my leg, so again didn't really get much done. Although did manage the cakes and had a small party for Callum with a couple of his friends. But this year I'm going for it! Got two years to make up for, so kids had better watch out - haha!

I know Halloween isn't for everyone's tastes and I do know that there are people out there who don't like people knocking on their doors and that's fine. There are also kids out there who basically use it as a good excuse to cause havoc, which isn't so nice and what gives it it's bad reputation, but I love it and I'm going to enjoy it until someone tells me I can't!

Oh well, it's now past midnight (it's the witching hour - hehe) and I'm off to bed.

Cya

I'M A COMPLETE WUSS

Hello all

Right, I'm coming out with it now, right now!! I'm a wuss. Yep, I'm a huge wuss! Those that know me probably won't believe me, but I am and it's about time I confessed.

I am petrified of....SPIDERS! Actually, I don't like other things either, but my biggest, most terrifying thing in the whole wide world is SPIDERS! Sorry, shouldn't keep using capital letters in the middle of a sentence, or at the end of one for that matter, but it's the only way I can convey my complete and utter dread/fear/loathing of them. SPIDERS! Even the name makes me shudder. Brrrrr!

I've never liked them, ever, and I've had a couple of close calls with them. I remember distinctly waking in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. I was probably about 8 or 9 at the time. I got up to get a book to read and when I turned round there was this monster crawling across my pillow. Needless to say I screamed, but by the time my dad got there, it had disappeared. I didn't sleep in the bed for the rest of the night, in fact, I didn't sleep in the bedroom!

Then there was the time I put on my school blazer and thought I saw a thread hanging from the elbow. I promptly got hold of it to pull it off and pulled away a bloody great brown thing instead. Aaaaargh!!!! Had to sit down for quite a while after that one.

Then there was the huge Godzilla of a spider that was in my bedroom (the larger back bedroom by this time) when I had my boyfriend over. He stamped on it several times, but the thing still kept crawling across the floor. Aaaaargh again!

Another occasion, I'd left home by then and was living with my daughter's father, I was laying in bed and could hear this tapping noise. It was like someone lightly drumming their fingers on paper. "What the hell is that?" I ask. "What?" says Dave. Tap, tap, tap. "THAT!!??" says I, getting a bit freaked. On goes the light, "Aaaaaaargh!" goes I. Ruddy great thing crawling on the wall above the bed! Sure it was wearing Dr Martins.

And so it goes on. I've had to learn to deal with them over time; starting with the little ones and working my way up. But, why oh why did the powers that be suddenly decide to stop increasing the size of the dreaded arachnids gradually at about 2p size and suddenly jump to the gargantuan, not quite fit under a beer glass, size!!! I can't make that jump, it's too huge! So, I can deal with littlies, but I cannot deal with the ones that come out about this time of year looking for mates. You know the ones, big, black, hairy ones. The ones wearing hobnail boots, biker jackets and riding Harleys (might as well be, the speed they run)! I know they are looking for the loves of their lives and I should be looking at them in a romantic, love lost, way, but I'm sorry, I don't! I look at them as a load of testosterone fuelled hoodies with ASBOs looking for fight and a cheap one night stand!

I've had five in my house this year. Yes! FIVE! And they are always there when I'm by myself! I had one in the kitchen sink when I came downstairs in the morning. I hadn't even had a cup of tea!! It was massive! No way was that fitting under a glass (not that I can get that close to them anyway). I had to go outside and drag someone in off the street! Yes, I really did! A delivery van had just pulled up and I squeakily asked if they would mind rescuing "A Damsel in Distress". "Depends on what it is!" One retorted. "Actually it's a spider and I hate them." I reply. "Ok, but I don't really like them myself." In he came. "Where is it?" He asks. "In the sink" I reply. He walks into my kitchen, sticks his head over the sink and goes "F.... me, that's big!". "Yep" I reply "It certainly is". He got rid of it for me though, bless!

Then I had one in the utility room, crawling up above the coats! "Philllllllllllll......" I scream. "What!?" he screams down (he'd gone to bed. "SPIDER!!!!!!!!" I scream back. Down he comes, spider dead. All is well.

Two nights later, I'm sitting here at the computer and one runs up the back of the computer on the wall. Huge. "Phillllllll....." I scream. "What?!" He's gone to bed again. "SPIDER!!!" "Oh, for God's sake!" Down he comes, spider dead, all is well again.

Then nothing! Two weeks of nothing. Yay, all done, no more. Yes, the lovesick ones have gone home.

But NO! Last week, I'm sitting watching the telly and I catch movement in the corner of my eye. Bloody great black thing running the 100yrd sprint across my living room floor! Aaargh! Can't call Phil as I'd lose it under the sofa and then I'd have to move out - seriously I would! So up I get and stamp, rather bravely I thought, on the dreaded thing. I squish my foot a bit, lift up my toes and the damn thing starts running again, on 6 legs! Jesus Christ! Stamp again, further squishing, heart about to break out of my ribcage, but it is dead! I can't bring myself to pick up the dead body as I'm shaking, feel sick and my heart really does feel like it's about to burst out of my chest. I cover it with tissue paper, so I don't have to look at it and watch tv for another hour so I can calm down. I then gingerly pick up the tissue paper with dead body and dispose of it. All is again well in the house.

Then, two days later both myself and Phil are watching telly, Callum is on computer and we suddenly hear "Daaaaaaad". "What?!" "Spider! Big one". Callum has been typing away on his game and needed to use the calculator that is propped up on it's side against the printer which is about a foot away from the keyboard. He's moved the calculator and there's a ruddy great spider just sitting there on the desk! Glad it wasn't me sitting there. I think the keyboard, printer, desk and everything else in the known vicinity would have gone flying!

It's been about a week now and no more! Am really hoping that we have seen the last for another year. I know that there are those of you out there who are reading this and thinking "poor spider" or "it's more scared of you than you are of it", but let me ask you this: "How the hell do you know, have you asked one?" Spiders never run away from me, always towards me. They are supposed to eat flies, but I've still got loads of those in my kitchen every day so they aren't doing a good job! So far, I've not seen any reason for them to live running around in my house and I certainly don't want to sit down with one and discuss the latest goings on in Strictly Come Dancing, so sorry, they die. Live IN my walls by all means; live IN my garden, I don't mind; but stay out of my view! You scare the pants of me and you will probably be the death of me one day by giving me a heart attack.

Actually, I've already broken my foot over one! Yes, really! Forgot to mention that monster. I was living on my own then with my daughter. Had just had a far too hot bath and was laying on my bed cooling off, whilst wrapped in a towel when I spotted this monster on my bedroom curtain! Sat up, swung legs over edge of bed to stand up (keeping my eyes on the dreaded spider in case I lost it) and stood up wrong, twisted my ankle and landed full weight on the side of my foot. "Aaaargh" Screamed I, ankle swells to size of football, ambulance called, broken foot, everyone at A&E having a good laugh and spider escapes! Some would say, the arachnid got it's own back for all it's brothers and sisters deaths and maybe it did, but it didn't help my fear or my vengence.

Hmmm, just thought of something else. I broke my leg whilst wrapped in a towel! Perhaps I should get a dressing gown!

Cya