MONDAY MORNING.....WHAT THE HELL?

Ok, I've had a rather fab weekend.  Seem to be making a habit of those lately.  Saturday was a lazy one with a bit of shopping, bit of gardening, bit of telly catching upping, you're getting the idea and Sunday was the excellent Fuse Festival in Rochester Castle grounds with my beloved son, who is now the grand old age of 16!  We love the Fuse Festival and, luckily, it always falls on the weekend of his birthday so we can't forget it, hehe and it gives us something definite to do.  Favourite acts of the year were The Giant Balloon Show, which, no matter how many times we see it, still cracks us up and The Most Dangerous Cup of Tea in the World which was very silly with a bit of slapstick thrown in.

 

Giant Balloon 

 

Dangerous Cup of Tea




However, last night, for some unknown reason, I couldn't get comfortable and therefore didn't sleep well.  This has meant that I've woken up later than I wanted and am totally 'not with it'.  I'd like to sit in the corner and play silly buggers on FB or watch a movie.  What I NEED to do is clean up, feed the dogs, sort out dinner for later, do my finances and check what my son is up to on the home ed front.  Can't believe it's nearly 1.30pm and I haven't even put my bed away (I sleep on a Zbed downstairs due to back and sleep problems).  I have a feeling that this week is going to be a long one. There has already been one change of plan and I sense there is more on the way.

I'm still in Glastonbury panic mode although nowhere near as bad as before, but I will feel better once I've packed, repacked, sorted, probably packed again and know that everything is ready.  I probably won't be truely relaxed until we are there and the tent is up; damn this anxiety thingy.

It's also a friend's birthday this week and do you think I can find the present I made her?  Nope, of course I can't....Grrrrrr!  So will have to get something small and give the actual present to her when I've found it.  It's around somewhere!

Anyway, just a quickie.  Really must get going and get on with stuff as supposed to be off to cinema later this evening and want to tick off my list before I go.

Cya

GOOD TIMES AND A WEIRD PANIC ATTACK

Oh dear, have had a funny couple of weeks and an extremely odd panic attack.

But starting on a good note; had a fab day out for my birthday with my daughter taking a trip down to Rochester for the day, including my first Dickens Festival.  Was nowhere near as busy as I expected and, to be honest, a bit disappointing on the Dickens front, although did see a fair few fab steampunk costumes.  We started off with breakfast in the café before catching the train to Rochester. Then a wander round the shops, stalls and flea market before having coffee and cake in Bruno’s which, I’m happy to report does, at least one, gluten free option.

Got spoilt rotten in Hometown and home to fish pie (my favourite) cooked by my partner.

Staying with the birthday treats; had another breakfast bought for me by a friend on Tuesday and a good catch up as we hadn’t seen each other for a fair while.

This past weekend was the pub reunion which was awesome.  Loads of people, we packed out the pub, good company (some of whom I hadn’t seen for 30 years) and brilliant music.

This week, I’ve been really tired as the dog wasn’t well over the weekend and kept me up most of Sunday night and I don’t think I’ve really caught up.  Probably because of this, I had a huge panic attack, which was totally stupid and pointless and bizarre, about the up and coming trip to Glastonbury Festival.  Woke up at 4am with thoughts of not being able to pitch the tent due to space, having to put it up in the dark, losing my granddaughter because we were struggling with the tent and all such ridiculous things that, at the time, seemed monumental but after much thought were just mental without the monu!

I think I’m being far too hard on myself and am probably trying to be responsible for everything, including people’s enjoyment, which is ridiculous!  I’m sure half of it is due to having had sixteen years of being totally responsible for someone’s ability to cope and having to have planned, with military precision, every trip we’ve ever done (taking into account all eventualities and worst case scenarios as my son was a ‘runner’ when small).  It’s a hard habit to break, but I must break it.

I think if I was going by myself I wouldn’t be feeling anywhere near as stressed which seems odd when I think about it as I would have thought it would make it worse being by myself. But, having done a lot more by myself recently and enjoying it because I’ve not had to feel responsible for anyone but me, the relief of not having to worry about anyone has been rather liberating.  So when I am with someone I revert back to the worrying and the feeling that I need to be in control so that, should anything go wrong, I’ll be able to deal with it straight away rather than just accepting that something has gone wrong and going with the flow.

Anyway, I’m ok at the moment and, to be honest, I’m looking forward to it although I have no idea what my plans are re seeing any bands.  Before then, however, I’ve got my son’s birthday today, a day trip out planned next week and a weekend full of my granddaughter’s birthday party next Saturday and our family Nerf War’s day next Sunday.  This weekend C is off with his dad tomorrow to a model railway show and we are off to Fuse Festival in Rochester on Sunday; busy, busy, busy.  Which is probably a good thing, ha ha; maybe it’ll stop me from having ‘over the top’ stresses.

Cya

Dapper Gent 

Butterfly Ladies (also seen at ComicCon)